Vail, Colorado
Yesterday, my meditations sessions were pleasurable: easy, relaxing, comforting and warm. Today, my session felt difficult, tense, a struggle. The rest of the day turned out to be the same.
Thomas Keating has some wise things to say. He doesn’t thing we should pay attention to how the meditation session itself turns out. “Students don’t grade their own papers.” he says. Secondly he directs our attention outside the meditation room. “The fruits of meditation aren’t found in the meditation, but in everyday life.”
So if I have a pleasurable session, I don’t regard it as a victory. If I have a difficult session, I don’t regard it as a defeat. It’s called a practice for a reason. It’s not a performance. Pleasurable or difficult, I try to end every session by thanking myself for taking the time to practice awareness.
I do look for the effects of awareness in how my everyday life flows. For example, what things get under my skin? Some days though are just difficult and today was one of them.