Learning to turn down the critical voice within is the three key things I do when I practice awareness. It’s come up in the blog in various contexts: listening to a concert, recovering from a stroke, etc. Here’s another example.
As you’ve gathered by now, I’m a skier. When I’m learning, the critical voice within me has a role in evaluating my progress and deciding on what to do next. However, when I’m actually skiing and focused on performance, that voice is not much help and is often in the way. Athletes and their coaches know this and have developed some ways to be focused completely on the performance and to turn down the voice of fear and criticism.
In skiing it works this way. If I’m standing at the top of a challenging hill with lots of difficult obstacles, I recall images of me or another skier skiing similiar terrain very well. Usually, I will have watched video tapes of an expert doing what I am about to do. I’ve watched them enough to recall the entire tape; I can visualize the skier and every move he or she makes. In my mind I replay the tape, focusing carefully. As I visualize, I remember the kenesthetic sensations vividly enough that I feel them. Then, as soon I stop the visualization, I immediately start to ski focusing completely on a single aspect. It could be moving my hips and shoulders across my skis for example. I totally drop judgment and evalution and simply focus on the present moment, that is the movement I am making.
If you watch Olympic atheletes you can probably see them visualizing and recalling the kenesthetics of what they are about to do before they perform. What I’ve been taught to do is similar.
It works. Instead of being fearful, I am focused. Instead of criticizing my last turn, my entire focus is on the turn I am doing. My skiing jumps a notch. I’m not transformed into a 20 year old racer but in a very difficult situation, I can execute the movements I’ve learned in easier situation with relative ease. In a way, by turning down the critic and the fear, I ski up to my potential.
Stated in the language of “Stroke of Insight”, I’ve told the hyperactive left side of my brain that I am ignoring its input in favor of the kinesthetic and euphoric right side, at least for the moment.
I regard this practice as an awareness exercise. I know the mental skills I learn on the snow help me in the meditation room. It’s the same voice I turn down. The one that says something like “There you go again. You don’t concentrate well do you?”
When that voice is faint, I can hear the whoops of joy from within.
To see what I’m talking about, take a look at this video of me having fun in British Columbia. The video of me meditating is too boring to post.